Ten years ago I was eighteen. I was living in my college dorm with an ex-boyfriend, who taught me a valuable lesson and what it means to love myself. Surprisingly it wasn’t a bad break-up and I loved living alone. Looking back it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. In the last decade, I’ve gone to college, worked as an Early Childhood Educator and even started two businesses that I still run. I’ve traveled to Mexico, across Canada and the states, to Australia and back again. I survived a long-distance relationship and I’ve been on a journey with him ever since. In 2018 I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl who has taught me more in the last year than I could ever have imagined. The past decade has been nothing short of really high highs and low lows but for the most part, my 20’s were pretty amazing and I learned a lot.
1. You are stronger than you think
I can’t tell you the number of times that life knocked me down, that the number of times I got right back up again. Sure there are bad days, bad weeks or even bad months! I have overcome adversity and I’ve had to find a resource in me to fight back. I know this sounds vague and I promise you its truth. You are stronger than you think and those hard times teach us a lot about resilience and ourselves.
2. Protect your Peace
This is an important lesson for me. I had to learn that sometimes there are people close to you, such as best friends or even family members who might not have the purest intentions. Most likely they are struggling with their own issues or they don’t love themselves enough. But you will need to learn it’s okay to break up that friendship, to have boundaries and to protect your peace.
3. If you want success you have to earn it.
Building two businesses have taught me so much, but the most important thing was that hard work is the key to success. You will rarely get lucky and find success easily, at least for me it wasn’t luck. I have learned that you will always get back what you put in, and there is no other way around that. This day in age everyone is looking for the short cuts, the “secrets to” whatever it is they do. But the truth is there is no secret to success but hard work.
4. You are not that important to most people.
This is something most of us struggle with and we put too much pressure on ourselves for. I used to worry about wearing the perfect dress to parties, and thinking I would be judged for talking to certain people. But the truth is your not that important to most people! I mean that in the most humbling way because most people are more concerned with their own lives. Nobody is going to remember seeing you talk to that one person at a conference. The truth is that nobody cares that much, and isn’t that liberating.
5. You are not your anxiety.
Once I learned about my anxiety and depression, I made sure it wasn’t going to control me (as much). It’s still a major struggle and one I don’t talk about as often as I would like. But I don’t let it determine whether or not I attend a networking event or conference anymore. It’s also okay to be on medication, and don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s not.
6. Asking for help is okay.
Since becoming a mom I’ve needed help more times than I would like to admit. I’ve needed to ask for help from family so I could spend some time by myself, and to work on my business. Without having help during this season of life I would be lost. Also in terms of business, reaching out to someone you know and asking for help will get you farther and be less time consuming than figuring it out yourself.
7. Don’t take rejection personally.
I take things personally and that’s just who I am. I replay the scenario in my head, picking apart every little thing until I’ve come up with some conclusion about why I was rejected. And it took me years to understand rejection is not personal! It is either a reflection of whoever they are or maybe your just not a good fit and being professional about rejection is the key.
8. Learning to love your self is the most important thing.
Does self-love even exist in your 20s? I think my 20’s we’re spent figuring out who I was and taking every wrong path. Self-love can mean different things to different people. You need to figure out what that means to you. Maybe it’s eating healthy, getting fit, going to therapy or accepting your body. Either way, I seriously hope you find a way to love yourself unconditionally.
9. No one knows what they are doing.
No one has life figured out and that’s the truth. Even after years and years of running a small business I still have no idea what I’m doing. As parents, we have no idea what we’re doing, and we’re making mistakes all the time. But I do know we love our daughter more than anything, and I know I am so happy with my business that I am willing to do whatever it takes. Also, if someone says they have it all figured out they are lying to you.
10. Manifestation is powerful.
I CANNOT tell you how much I believe in the power of manifestation. I have manifested so many wonderful things in my life, and I can’t wait to manifest more. Its something you need to practice every single day and support your manifestations. Learn to see what you want and practice seeing yourself in that life, until one day it becomes a reality. That is manifestation.